What the Fuck should I feel?

I have just read that Hunter S. Thompson shot himself. I don't know how to react. I want to cry. But if he escaped and really after all that atheism reading on how suicidie is a man's way of release from the bullshit in this world and how they are examples and open the way...I am in turbulent confusion in my mind. Do I mourn the loss of a pioner or do I rejoice in the fact that he released? Do I feel selfish for me and the literature or do I feel sad for the family? Or do I realize we live and must let go? I really want to cry. When I read about it I just got this overwhelming sadness come over me. And now I shocked and sad and...It's just that something this catastrophic has not occured in my lifetime. Like the authors I love are either long dead or just seem well. Like they wouldn't commit suicide. And I didn't have to experience Lennon's death. And I was too young to be impacted by Kurt Cobain...but this...oh man.